It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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