I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
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I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
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Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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