How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
vagina is talking i cant
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
