Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
