Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
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Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
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