so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
