He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
We need a shit load of segways right now
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
