I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize
