you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
