Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
