Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
