Taylor Swift is so right about you.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I'd cum for enchiladas.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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