i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
