How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
