Texts From Last Night

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  (269): View more from Michigan

  I wanna bring you to show and tell

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  (269): I wanna bring you to show and tell http://tfl.nu/jv6d
  Replies (1) Good night (1919) Bad night (636)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...

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  (405): I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ... http://tfl.nu/68st
  Replies (16) Good night (3221) Bad night (574)
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  (408): View more from California

  You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.

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  (408): You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job. http://tfl.nu/u3yp
  Replies (15) Good night (4349) Bad night (835)
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  (916): View more from California

  They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.

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  (916): They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door. http://tfl.nu/s1xt
  Replies (23) Good night (6270) Bad night (914)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.

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  (253): Best. Four. Twenty. Ever. http://tfl.nu/cry0
  Replies (42) Good night (6346) Bad night (1613)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.

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  (515): Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him. http://tfl.nu/tve9
  Replies (14) Good night (5664) Bad night (1338)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass

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  (609): Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass http://tfl.nu/qqts
  Replies (19) Good night (5187) Bad night (1722)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.

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  (727): There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though. http://tfl.nu/m08y
  Replies (8) Good night (1008) Bad night (2342)
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  (707): View more from California

  is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??

  (408): View more from California

  your beer goggles are on backwards.

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  (707): is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive?? (408): your beer goggles are on backwards. http://tfl.nu/ojnh
  Replies (4) Good night (4083) Bad night (680)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.

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  (484): there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now. http://tfl.nu/o3be
  Replies (12) Good night (740) Bad night (1597)
• Favorite

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  I've fallen from my one moral pedestal

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  (865): I've fallen from my one moral pedestal http://tfl.nu/rkax
  Replies (3) Good night (537) Bad night (793)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.

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  (360): ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present. http://tfl.nu/50t2
  Replies (2) Good night (567) Bad night (467)
• Favorite

  (571): View more from Virginia

  If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.

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  (571): If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies. http://tfl.nu/9cow
  Replies (3) Good night (494) Bad night (224)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower

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  (603): the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower http://tfl.nu/z3nh
  Replies (1) Good night (655) Bad night (208)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave

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  (304): I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave http://tfl.nu/i4i9
  Replies (2) Good night (627) Bad night (208)

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