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So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
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