if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
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