She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?