what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
