they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
