physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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