I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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