1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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