you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
birth control should be required to get into college
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
