Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
