I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
