just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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