What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize