in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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