she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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