i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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