No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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