I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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