i just wanna soil my oats bro
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize