he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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