I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
