Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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