Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
