I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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