Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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