i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
