nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
