Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
