pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
