So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
is wine microwaveable?
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
