So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Randomize
