worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Randomize
