finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
