Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize