Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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