Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
