He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
