Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
