I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
You work out of a Hotel?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
