I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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