Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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