I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
