is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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