I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Randomize
