The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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