I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Green mimosas i think yes
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
