I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
we're so committed to being not committed
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
