just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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