Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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