The maid of honor just puked.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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